Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
