Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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