Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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