Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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