Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
