hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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