talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
