i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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