i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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