maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
