Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I lost the right to judge tonight
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
