How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
