He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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