waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
