Define "chronic" masturbator.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We are two peas in an std pod
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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