i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
