I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
