yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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