You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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