she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
