I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize