why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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