So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
