We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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