I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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