Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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