I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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