She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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