remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
