If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
