Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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