come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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