Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
