the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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