adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
