You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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