she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
