Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
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I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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