Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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