You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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