They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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