In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just tell him i said nine months
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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