some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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