her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize