Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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