You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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