I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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