No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
