you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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