According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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