making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
