This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
