I must be too annoying 4 u.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
40s are totally the cure
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
