k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
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please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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