using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
