We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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