She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
